What You Lie About And Why It's OK
We've all lied. If you say, "nope, not me", you're a freakin' liar. I know I lie sometimes. Some would argue that as a trained trial attorney, I don't just lie, I'm a good liar and I lie for sport. I wouldn't go that far, but one thing I don't lie about is the fact that I lie.
There is a spectrum of lying. On the left side are the little white lies and on the far right are the really big lies. Comedian Chris Rock has suggested that the divide is along gender lines, but I don't know if that's true even though it is arguable and hilarious! I subscribe to my mom's position on lying, "I don't lie, I crystallize." So I guess that puts me closer to the left side of the spectrum.
There are three things that I have lied about with frequency and I'm sure you have too. And it's ok because we are all in this together!
1) My Weight: Unless I'm on a scale in a doctor's office, I'm shaving off 10 pounds from my real weight. I'm just gonna do it. If you ask me to fill out paperwork and if the information I put on there is not immediately capable of being verified, I'm giving you my weight with a -10 margin of error. Be prepared.
2) How Often I Floss: Every 6 months I lie to my dentist when he asks, "have you been flossing?" I always say, "yep, every night before I go to bed" which is a bold face lie. Most nights I'm too tired to even brush my teeth so there is no way I have time (or the desire) to floss.
3) That I Missed Your Call: I screen my calls kind of a lot. I will legit watch the phone ring (and won't roll someone over to voicemail to preserve the lie) and then call them back the next day and say, "I saw I missed your call." Now the next time this happens and if you ask me if I'm lying, I'm going to deny it but you're probably 100% right.
Look, none of these items are material enough to matter in the grand scheme of things. I'm not advocating lying but what I'm saying is that we all do it, so it's kind of ok. Look, there are generally two main reasons why people lie: fear and manipulation. If you know someone in the latter category, then they are probably a pathological liar....and probably a serial killer (smile), so let's just avoid those types, mmmmkay?
Author Tad Williams once said, “We tell lies when we are afraid… afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.” I know I'm guilty of that! Last week I lied to my husband about what I had for dinner because I was afraid of the "c'mon Meaux" eyes he would give me if I told him I ate tacos when I was really supposed to be eating my meal-plan approved kale salad. But the funny thing is - I didn't feel better when I lied about it, I felt worse. The very thing I feared - judgment- actually hit me harder because I tried to cover it up. I ended up judging myself which in the end is worse, really.
But at the end of the day, I'm not in this boat alone. I'm not saying it's ok to lie, but I'm also not saying that you are the worst person in the world. I guess when I'm really saying is that if you get to the bottom of why you tell lies and fix that thing, maybe you'll do yourself some good!
So tell me about it - do you lie? What do you think?
Featured Photo: Yingpis Kalayom