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Hello, lovely...

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What To Do Before Doomsday...

What To Do Before Doomsday...

So apparently the world is ending in about 4 days.  I know I'm not alone in thinking about how odd our times are.  In the U.S. alone, one part of the country was burning while another was under water.  The eclipse was also kind of weird - admit it. Now we've got the earthquakes.  Plus the president....

So basically, shit just got really real.  

I thought I'd put together a little list of things I wish I could do (or should have done) before it all falls apart!

1) I would have bought the shoes.  I talked myself out of buying a pair of Louboutins a few years ago.  I'd worked hard for them and got all excited, but when I got to the store, I just couldn't bring myself to spend the money.  Since the world is ending, I probably should have just pulled the trigger.

2) I should have thrown the drink.  I had an awful date back in my early twenties.  While sitting across from this chump, he said something completely off-color about my breasts.  MY BREASTS....on a DATE!!!  What the hell?  In the moment, I was so stunned I couldn't come up with a witty one-liner to give back to him at the time.  Instead I just stood up and walked out which just wasn't dramatic enough. Since then I've had dreams of throwing my perfect martini on his less-than-perfect face.  After reflection, and because the world is ending, I should have thrown the drink...

3) I would have said something better to Obama.  Back in 2007 when then-Senator Barack Obama came to Texas for a campaign rally, I was invited to a fundraiser in his honor.  I stood front-and-center as he gave a riveting speech.  I was inspired.  Prior to the event, I'd prepared some equally riveting remarks to deliver if I had the chance to meet him.  Well, I did.  And I fell flat.  He walked up to me and I said, "Senator Obama, thank you for giving us hope."   That's it. So uninspiring.  So bland.  So unremarkable.  If I would have known the world was ending, I probably would have said something better...

4) I would fly to Italy just to eat risotto and fly home.  I checked on tickets...they are all booked up for this week. Probably because the world is ending and everyone wants to be in Italy for that...

5)  I should call everyone I've burned a bridge with and make amends.  Because who wants to enter into the rapture with that kind of thing hanging over you? There are enough people that I've either wronged or rubbed the wrong way that St. Peter may give me a little side eye when I get to heaven. So since the world is ending, I should probably set up those calls...

6) I should have cut my hair.  I'm sort of in an unhealthy relationship with my hair.  I've always wanted to know what my curls look like underneath the chemicals.  I tried in earnest to go natural before law school and that only last six months.  In hindsight, and because the world is ending, I should have just done the big chop and exposed the real me...

7) I would have taken the trip.  I love to travel, but I have an aversion to being broke.  Let's be clear, I've never really been broke but I have an unreasonable fear of what that feels like.  Trust me, my therapist and I are trying to figure this out now.  I have big dreams of taking far away vacations.  I have bigger dreams of booking those trips on a whim and not looking back.  Last year I looked into booking a romantic vacation to the Maldives that I found for a steal.  I didn't book it because I thought it seemed too expensive.  Instead I booked a more cost-effective getaway to St. Thomas for December which turned out to be a BIG BUST...because hurricanes suck.  In hindsight, and because who wouldn't want to see the end of the world from an over-water bungalow in paradise, I should have booked that trip...

8) I should have ordered the fries.  I've spent so much time worrying about calories and my weight that I have sometimes ordered salads when I meant to order fries.  Don't get me wrong, my thighs will tell you that I don't always make that choice, but there are times when I really really really just wanted fries and settled for the second place and unsatisfying salad.  I get it - health is wealth, but since the world is ending and those calories don't really count on the other side, I probably should have skipped the self-imposed shame and pity party and just ordered the damn fries...

What would you do or should you have done differently now knowing Doomsday is upon us? Sound off in the comments below.  (And no, I don't really believe the end of the world is upon us.  Calm down, I'm not that dark.).

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