Girl Scouts and Their Evil Cookies
It's the 100th annual Girl Scout cookie season and I stopped by here to tell you - I hate Girl Scout cookie season. I see those tiny humans peddling demon snacks outside of church, the grocery store, and the office lobby. To some they look adorable, but to me I see them as miniature judges of my soul standing there tempting me into the abyss of calories and shame.
I'm being dramatic - I fully support their efforts and think they are actually cute. But I literally HATE this season. You see, I am a sucker for the shortbread cookies. I like them plain or more dolled up. I don't discriminate! I make them into little strawberry shortcake desserts and take my time to savor every morsel. I've tried "hiding them" in the freezer but that just gave me reason to walk past the refrigerator every 30 minutes or so. The pressure of NOT eating a whole box in one sitting is too much for me to handle.
I received the cutest video from my two little cousins lobbying the family to buy the sinful snacks. It's one of those things you feel like an asshole saying "no" to, so you either oblige or find creative ways to donate. I sent their mother a text saying, "May I buy cookies and donate them to someone else? I can't have those little calorie demons in my house! I don't trust myself." And there was the truth.
It's not the Girl Scouts that I have a problem with, or even their devil snacks. It's the fact that I envision myself sitting on the kitchen floor in tears with a shortbread in my hands screaming, "I can't stop!!" One year I ordered 4 boxes of cookies and by the time I opened the third box, I had to literally pour dish liquid INTO the box onto the open cookies and throw them away (I would have rummaged through the trash to eat them, I just know it). Don't judge me - you've been there too.
Luckily there is now a program for ye of little restraint! You can make a financial donation and have the cookies donated to troops or charities. An excellent option for the weak-willed like me!
What is your favorite cookie flavor? Any fun recipes to share?
Photo: Girl Scouts