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On Dating Older

On Dating Older

Have you ever dated someone older than you?  In my early twenties I had it all figured out (so I thought).  I would meet and marry someone who was my exact age. We would have similar life experiences and would marry at a specific age, wait a few years, travel, maybe have a baby, celebrate milestones together, blah blah blah....

Turns out, the majority of my serious relationships (read: the two people before my husband) were younger than me.  I could spend a week writing about my experiences with younger men. Let's just say when it came down to selecting my age range on eHarmony, I looked for older. In my mind, I said that I wanted someone that was beyond all the BS that comes with younger guys.  So I found Hassan.  At first, the extra nine years scared me a bit.  I thought about what others would think, I wondered if he would have the energy of a young man and still want to cut a rug every now and then.  What I found is that his age is not even a thing for me now.  I don't think about it and it doesn't manifest itself in any drastic way.  That being said, there are a few benefits to dating an older man:

  • They understand commitment:  Let me be careful with this one.  In my case, Hassan knew what he wanted.  To be married...to me.  He was very intentional about how he courted me and that was both refreshing and scary.  I'm not suggesting that no older men have hesitations about being committed - plenty do.  What I am suggesting is that they know whether they want to be committed or not and they aren't afraid to express that feeling one way or the other.
  • You will always feel young:  40 feels so much farther away when I think about the fact that Hassan is 9 years older than me!  I will always be "the young wife" which makes me feel sexy and helps me forget all of the crap associated with aging. 
  • There is always a joke to make: "Oh honey look - Denzel is on television. Didn't you go to elementary school with him?"  It's corny, but it makes me laugh every time!
  • The amazement of hearing about his old high school days:  Not only does it baffle me that the person I am married to was deep into high school when I was still in elementary school, but I love hearing about his "glory days" of cutting class and wearing jean jackets and skateboarding.  
  • An eclectic take on music:  In my case, Hassan is a child of the 70s, so he came up listening to some amazing old classic cuts.  He remembers where he was when Purple Rain came out AND he remembers when the Thriller music video dropped. That's enough to make a girl jealous! 
  • Chivalry:  Say what you want, but in my experience, older men have the gentleman thing down pat.  I wasn't prepared for all of the little things that he does like opening my car door and walking on the outside of the sidewalk.  There is an old school feel to how he loves me and I welcome it.

Look, I'm not saying there aren't some positive aspects to dating someone younger or your own age, but to me there are noticeable differences being with an older man.  Even so, men are men regardless of age and they still do man things that drive women nuts! My best advice - find someone you love and let them love you back.  If his age lends you some benefits - well then that's just a bonus!

Have you dated older?  What are your thoughts on the topic? Share below...

Photo Credit: Naassom Azevedo Photgraphy

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