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Welcome to my site where I explore topics on life, love, culture and everything in between. I hope you find something here that inspires you, that makes you laugh, that gives you hope, or that helps you reflect.  Have a nice stay and come back often!

How To Get Over a Breakup

How To Get Over a Breakup

Break-ups suck and not all break-ups are equal.  There are the ones that cause you to lose your breath, and the ones that give you your breath back.  Regardless, a break-up signifies a shift in your life whether you choose to minimize it or not.  Here are some ways to get through: 

1) Cry.  If ever there was a time to be allowed to emote uncontrollably, this is it. After all, you're grieving a loss.  Don't lose sight of that.  Whoever created this "no crying" mentality is an emotional idiot.  I'm a firm believer in giving yourself the space to feel how you feel.  Otherwise, you bottle it inside which is only detrimental to your health.  Look, I cried for one solid month after my big break-up.  Literally.  I would hold it together just long enough to be productive at work.  I would begin crying the minute I got to the parking lot to drive home from work and didn't stop until I went to sleep.  Sleep, wake, cry, repeat.  How long do you give yourself?  Until you feel better.  Maybe it takes you a day, maybe a month, maybe longer.  But trust me, there will come a time when you are all cried up and that day feels awesome!

2) Eat a cupcake.  You earned every one of those 400 calories, so go forth and eat.  Without shame.  Luckily for me, the cupcake ATM was not open in 2012, but if it were, I would purchase some over-sized black sunglasses and do incognito drive-bys a few times per day.  Look, one cupcake (or three) is not going to break that diet of yours, so allow yourself this indulgence.

3) Forgive yourself.  Regardless of whose fault it was, there will come a time when you blame yourself for being in the relationship, not getting out sooner, or missing the signs.  Here's the thing - give yourself an hour to beat yourself up and then stop.  It's a waste of time.  Of course, there are things you could have done differently.  No one goes into relationships saying, "I will do everything I can to not feel the pain of a break-up."  You gave your whole heart, let your guard down, and allowed yourself to feel.  And that's ok.  Accept that this is happening and  keep moving forward.

4) Laugh.  I'm all for pity parties (see #1 above) but not excessively so.  At some point you've got to have one of those gut-busting laughs that lets you know you're alive.  What did I do?  I watched this.  

5) Talk to that one friend.  I didn't follow this rule, but I probably should have.   Everyone has that friend that you can talk to about anything without feeling judged, and who won't give you that, "I told you he was a bum" look.  Talk to that friend.  Don't talk to the bitter friend, or the miserable friend.  That won't end well for you.

6) Find another boy to kiss.  But only when you feel ready.  They say there's nothing better to get over an old thang than to get a new thang.  There's some truth to that, but be cautious about rebound relationships - those are neither fulfilling nor fair.

What other coping mechanisms did you use to get past heartbreak?

Photo Credit: Eutah Mizushima

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