Best Worst Date Stories
Bad dates. We've all had them. Hard to endure, harder to forget. Every now and again I think about those WTF moments. My worst date ever? There are too many to tell, but one that always astonishes me is this one:
The Dish Washer: I got a call from the guy I'd been dating for a few weeks asking me to meet him for lunch. I obliged, being intrigued by the spontaneity of it all. We had a nice time at lunch and when the bill came, he literally pushes it across the table to me and with a straight face says, "you're a lawyer; you're good for it." He messed with the wrong girl, though, because I promptly grabbed my purse, said "good luck in life" and left him sitting there....I hope he was "good for it"....
and another one....
The Home Plate Homie: A guy I'd been seeing called to ask, "hey, do you want to go to the baseball game tomorrow night?" I say, "sure, sounds like fun." He says, "ok great, go ahead and buy the tickets. I like to sit behind home plate..." WTF? Not only did he not make it to first base, he didn't even get in the stadium...
Now that I've shared some of my faves, I thought it would be fun to hear from some of our subscribers about their best worst date stories. Here goes nothing...
The Not-So-Frequent Flyer: "On a third date with a guy, I asked whether he liked to travel. He said, "no, I don't see the point of leaving home." Strike one. I tried to make sense of this and said, "well, maybe you could try it. I've traveled all over the world and learned a lot." His response? "Good for you." Strike two. I say, "well have you ever left Texas?" He replied: "no, but I'd like to go to Dallas at some point." Strike three. I literally got up from the table and left him with the bill." -- Reshma T.
The Cheap Bathroom Selfie Guy: " I met a guy at church and he asked me out to the movies. We ended up only being able to get tickets to the last show at midnight which is usually a no-no for me because I like to get to bed early. We get to the ticket counter and he asks me "How do you wanna do this?" I thought to myself "Huh?" I was in such shock that I couldn't respond. When words finally came to my mouth I said "I have money to pay for my own ticket." His response "Ok, I got us at the concession stand!" In my head I'm thinking, "fool, it's midnight, I am not eating this late." He goes to the restroom before the movie starts. When he gets back to the theater, he shows me the selfies that he's taken (in the restroom) that he posted on Facebook. And if all of that isn't enough he yelled at the movie screen the entire time!! Needless to say there was neither a night cap nor a second date." -- Jamila G.
The Scandalous Dancer: "I like to dance, so when my date asked me to go to the hottest club in town, I was excited! We were perfection on the dance floor. He definitely had the moves. Apparently I wasn't the only one who thought he had the moves because after coming from a quick trip to the bathroom, I saw my date at the bar with some tramp in a red dress. He was putting his number in her phone. It goes without saying: I left John Travolta on the dance floor that night...." -- Lindsay R.
The Sushi Sucka: "My date suggested sushi for an afternoon date. Halfway through the meal, I noticed my date's neck turning red. I initially thought he was just blushing because I'm so adorable, but I was wrong. Soon enough my date broke out into a full blown rash and his throat locked up. Not knowing really what to do, I immediately suggested that we go to the emergency room. At the triage station, my date (not able to talk due to his throat locking up) had to write on a notepad for the nurse what happened. I snuck a peak at the notepad and what do I see? "I'm allergic to fish but I was trying to impress my date so I ate it anyway." True story, but I was not at all impressed. After I made sure he got home safely, I suggested that we just be friends. After all, I can't date someone who is willing to literally kill himself for me." -- Tara P.
The Prosecution Witness: "Many moons ago, a classmate and her husband wanted to hook me up on a blind date. I'd never been on one and I'm always up for an adventure, so I agreed. We met at a sports bar inside a hotel. I should have known this would end horribly because it was the hotel where a woman drove in circles over her cheating husband. The date was very okay...nice guy, but just not my type. Plus, he talked a LOT about how his ex-fiancée didn't think he was manly enough. I knew better than to stick around to see how that would turn out! We talked a few more times, but it never went anywhere. A few weeks later, I start getting these increasingly offensive prank calls. Turns out to be his ex-fiancée calling, and she can describe what I wore, where we sat and what car I drove on our ONE AND ONLY date. Must be something about that hotel...Fast forward a few months, and I receive a subpoena to testify ON MY BIRTHDAY in a criminal case involving arson, breaking and entering, theft and...those phone calls. SO, I spent my birthday in the prosecution's witness room with my one-date blind date and his entire family. Needless to say, I've never gone on another blind date!" -- Elizabeth B.
The Baby Daddy: "I should have known something was wrong when my date was 20 minutes late. I really knew something was wrong when he walked into the restaurant with a car seat complete with a very real baby inside. Stunned, I asked, "whose child is this?" His response? "Mine...I was going to tell you about him. His damn mama dropped him off this morning and I just figured I'd bring him along." What the entire hell?" -- Keisha P.
The Atheist Doctor: "The first time I went out with this guy he showed up 20 minutes late and proceeded to brag about himself the entire time, including showing me the live-feed he runs in his extensive sneaker closet. The second, and WORST DATE EVER, was when he took me to have drinks after work one day. He decides to grill me about whether I plan on working when I get married, whether I believe men should be the head of the household and the usual "I need someone who only has time for me" questions. THEN he starts rambling about how he doesn't generally date women who are lawyers (cough... me), doctors (even though he is one), or anyone with a professional career because they don't generally have time to "take care of his needs". THEN he tells me that he's an Atheist. Needless to say, I quickly downed my drink (I don't waste good wine) and walked straight out of the bar. The next day at work I had a dozen roses waiting for me with a sorry note attached. I threw his heathen flowers in the trash..." -- Tracy S.
The Viral Kisser: "I'd been dating a guy for a few weeks and I thought it was heading somewhere. We'd agreed to take things slow, so when he leaned in for what would be our first kiss, I expected fireworks. Instead, just as I closed my eyes and the love soundtrack began playing in my head, it was not fireworks that I experienced...it was snot. He sneezed directly into my open mouth. Gross." -- Angelique M.
What is your best worst date story? Share in the comments below, I'd love to hear about it!
Photo Credit: Josh Felise